Daniel Tammet -- I won't rest until I have his brain, floating in a jar on my desk
It's easy sometimes to just sit back and think (with a smug look on your face) that you are the sharpest tool in the shed. Winston Churchill once said, "We are all worms. but I believe I am a glow-worm."
That is certainly undisputed-- Winston was one hell of a bright worm. Still though, sometimes I get pleased with myself when I get a neat script working or figure out how my Volvo works. I also tend to get new ideas popping into my head almost daily.
That self-pleasure (?) ended the other day when I was flipping channels and saw a documentary on Discovery called "The Boy with the Amazing Brain". The show was about the above gentleman who could calculate massive amounts of numbers with zero difficulty. He also claimed that he could learn a new language in just a week. Jesus.
He 'owns' the European record for recalling the most numbers past the decimal in pi. I can personally remember 3.14159-- that's it. Wow. Stunning.
Daniel was able to recall 22,514 integers past the decimal. He did it in five hours. Just think about it-- what can you remember-- in series, that is perfectly in order and consists of just a thousand elements?
Before the documentary, he spoke six languages. The documentary was to challenge him and see if he could learn a seventh in a week and be tested live, during a televised talk show.
Before we get any further with young Daniel, it's important to mention that he is considered Autistic. Yes, he suffered from epileptic fits during his youth that seems to have damaged his brain. He isn't the run-of-the-mill autistic that you'd imagine in a textbook-- after all, if you walked past him in the supermarket, you wouldn't hug the far side of the aisle. You wouldn't even know that something was wrong with him. He does have autism, but none of the normal aspects that affect social interaction.
Good thing too-- otherwise he'd make an awesome evil genius! BWA HA HA HA!!!
Ahem. Getting back to the documentary, the first test was to test some "Chess Hustlers" in New York by memorizing the position of chess pieces, wiping the board and restoring them. he offered them ten dollars for each piece he got wrong. He didn't pay a dime.
He was then sent to Vegas to play black jack, hopefully memorizing cards and beating the system. Turns out that the house always wins. He did make an amazing three-hand split, getting 21 for each hand. It's Vegas-- we'll be nice to the kid since he's on camera.
Then, he was sent to California to get prodded and probed (Frisco?) by some mathematics professors. I don't remember the doctor's names, but they were something like Pringadingding Gupta and Kaopectate Zorba-- or something similar.
They tested him with huge calculations (they verified with calculators-- pussies) and tried to trip up his statements that he visualized numbers as free-floating objects. They had him sculpt objects out of playdo (real high-tech, those Californians) and the objects matched during the subsequent days.
Daniel 'sees' numbers as a type of landscape-- numbers have different colors and shapes and they tend to merge together. Science calls this phenomenon synaesthesia. If he was asked to divide 3245 by 244, he would see both numbers separated, then connected by a third number. He would then read out the object's number-- it was always correct. To him, there was no calculation-- he would just sit back and read the answer.
This sounds like it's just as easy as us watching cars drive past and then calling out the type and color.
Finally, the documentary decided to test his language abilities and decided upon Icelandic. Apparently, it's one of the more difficult ones to learn, and there's always Icelandic 'hotties' that the film crew could hit on. They flew him there, gave him a teacher and off he went. His teacher, Ms. Inga Verpissen (or something like that) was somewhat skeptical. Towards the end of the week, she was shocked by his recall. At the end of the program, Daniel appeared at a talkshow and gabbed his mouth off-- entirely in Icelandic. Amazing. It took me three months before I could start to understand people gabbing in Spanish-- and hey, I once spoke it in a past life. That's another story.
The documentary was amazing. It made me reflect on myself and the rest of humanity. This person has an amazing ability. To 'see' numbers and perform massive computation. Why do I have problems running basic math in my head?
I see that we are still evolving. Savants always have some type of problem that gets them into hot water. Kim Peek (the real Rain Man) cannot live on his own. Talking with him for just a few seconds and you'd know there's something wrong. He is an undisputed human genius-- in his field. Apparently, Daniel doesn't drive, and has problems discerning from right and left.
Did Daniel's epilepsy damage his brain, yet free a future 'gift' that we will all inherit when we evolve more fully? Comparitively, our two calculating brains differ from Einstein to Neanderthal. As I stare at my hairy mitts while typing I know which one I am.
Carmen watched the show and made some typically shitty comments. "He looks ugly." "Look at his clothes." "He can't even tie his own shoes." Nice.
What she and most of the world completely misses, is that if he truly can picture numbers and observe massive calculations from them, then maybe we're doing it all wrong. What if we could program a computer to calculate the way he does? The amazing thing about Daniel's 'light' autism, is that he can successfully describe what he sees. We have eyes too, but alas, we cannot see.
Just imagine if we could take a pill and elevate our own abilities to his level. These are the great leaps of science-- to make everyone a Newton (hopefully without the eccentricities). To cure the diseases which hound us and find the equilibrium of living on a planet where we dwell in comfort but not kill off its resources.
It's a sad day for me now. I'm just a worm. Just a simple frigging worm.